Nerdiness Is Next To Cleanliness… Or Naw

I get it, we’ve all been there before – sometimes you’re a little less than fresh. We’re humans. But to just be comfortable sitting in your own funk… AND out in public?! Naw fam. In case you’re wondering what I’m referring to, I’m talking about the god-awful hygiene practices or lack thereof of people in the nerd community. Why is this even a thing? It’s gotten to the point where certain companies have started to market towards this crowd and the events that they attend. Companies will be giving out sample sizes of deodorant at events, but if someone can’t even be bothered to hop in a shower for 10 minutes, what makes you think that they’ll be bothered with applying deodorant? Moreover, you can’t put apply deodorant on over funk. It doesn’t work like that.

Chances are, if you’ve ever frequented any of the following places you’ve had the misfortune of breathing in these noxious fumes: tournaments (card, tabletop or video games), comic book/game shops where said tournaments are held, anime/comic conventions, special screenings of anime films, etc. I had always heard people talk about this atrocity, but I’d never experienced it for myself. This was mainly due to my lack of ever going to events or places that catered to this type of crowd – yep, go ahead and revoke my nerd card! I honestly thought people were being drama queens and over-reacting to like 1 or 2 smelly people. Oh boy, was I in for a surprise!

There’s a local shop that sells comics and collectibles not too far away from my house and I wandered in there on a whim one day after leaving the gym. As I walked in and took several steps, the aroma of staleness plus muddy field wafted into my nostrils. I shrugged it off as it being from all of the boxes of old novelty items. It wasn’t until I reached the center of the store that I realized that I had hit the epicenter of the stench. The store’s center contained several sites of long tables all occupied with people playing card games. I reeled in disgust. It was then that I understood what people had joked about on the internet.

Another instance of this happened at Youmacon 2018. A friend and I accepted the escort mission of helping a woman cosplaying as a very convincing Scorpion to the atrium where the arcade was being held. After some searching, we found the arcade, she thanked us, and we parted ways (didn’t even receive a rare item!). Everything seemed normal at first, so my homeboy and I decided to walk around and see all of what the arcade had to offer. It wasn’t until we got deep into the arcade that we were met with two odors playing a tag-team match with our olfactory glands – mildew and straight-up ass! After being nasally assaulted, we didn’t spend too much longer in there after that.  We hauled ass back into the much fresher air of the concourse.

I guess I just need some clarification as to why this is a thing.  Could it just be related to some sort of mental disorder in just a select few of individuals leading to the notoriety? Maybe these type of events/interests attracts a certain personality that doesn’t recognize the importance of personal hygiene – not only for themselves but for the public that they decided to immerse themselves into. Are these types of people just lazy and don’t want to be married to the idea of the daily practice of washing body parts and doing laundry? I can be honest and admit that I’ve sat in my own man-stink over a homebody weekend, but best believe I was hopping my ass into the shower if I was going to be in public.  And besides, taking a shower feels so good! Hell, putting on a freshly laundered outfit feels like heaven! I’m just trying to understand! The company, Axe, has even released a line of scented body wipes. The last thing I need to encounter is a bunch of people smelling like young douchebags layered on top of ass.

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